The Wastelands

This is just a little fic I wrote on the zombie apocalypse in my 8th grade year. Not really having anything to do, I just wrote. Hope you like!~
-Alex Sexyfish D.

I

 paced around my tiny apartment, thinking out loud.
"But if I go out there today, there won’t be anything there. I mean, there could, but it’s not likely that there will magically be people in THE MIDDLE OF A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Urgh!" I ranted. I stopped pacing for a moment, walked over to the window, and pushed the curtains over. Lately, I had taken to watching the zombies. Occasionally, they would just... die. I guess without food, aka human flesh, they died. Sometimes, though, they tripped over themselves. It was funny. I got back up, sighed, and walked over to her fridge. It was weird. You would think that, since there's, like, no humans left, there would be no electricity. But there was, so I got tap water and my food stayed cold. I grabbed a coke and walked over to my futon, where I slept.
"Ah, futon, sweet futon. Wonder if there's anything besides static today.” I said.
I turned on the TV and started to channel flip. Usually, when I did this, I thought, I was super bored and most of the time, there was only static. But when I reached what would be the Fox channel, there was a whole different scene. There were humans. And they were reaching out for others like them. Survivors. I abruptly stood up, grabbed my AK-47, and walked over to the door. I knew exactly where the tower was.

I walked down the spiraling stairs, stroking my hair as I did so. It helped calm me down and rationalize my mind again. I pushed open the door, pulled out my AK-47, and ran over to my Camaro. I took it from the nearest rich people place. First things first, I thought. I had to go to the fountain plaza, as I called it. I got into my car, closed the door, and revved it a bit. I stroked the dashboard and put the car into "drive" instead of "park". I drove over to the fountain plaza and parked it, turning it off so I wouldn't waste the battery.

I got out of my car, stroking the hood. Oh, how I wished that I could show this B-A car off to the public. I looked around, once again ALONE. How, oh, I don't know, original in the zombie apocalypse. I sighed, walking over to the mossy, blood-stained bench. I pulled out some old newspapers and put them on a certain spot, then sat down, pulling out a Time magazine. Yea, I still wanted to be clean, even in the zombie apocalypse. Who wouldn't? I must have been reading for a long time, because I didn't even notice a calico cat, tiny enough to fit on my head, sit on my lap and start to purr. So, when I did notice, yea, I started to pet it.
"Your not scary, are you, you cute little kitty-cat, are you? You wont eat me, you fluffy adorable ball of light.” I cooed.
Yea, that was my one moment of weakness. MY ONLY ONE! Don't get any ideas about it. So, naturally, I decided to keep it.
"What should I name you, you cute little thing, you?” I asked. 

The cat took one look at me and whipped out a bloody Uno card. I stared, dumbstruck. It snapped open some wings and flew and sat upon my head. I was just staring up at the cat, still too surprised to do anything. Well, there goes my sanity.

After a while of petting a flying demon cat from hell, which, supposedly I thought in my subconscious, I did not care at all, because, what the hell, it was the zombie apocalypse, I heard voices. Okay, I thought, there REALLY goes my sanity. So, being me, I got up and turned the corner near where I was hearing the voices. And there they were. A boy with white-blonde hair was talking to a brown-haired idiot, I could already tell, but all I could see was the white-haired boy. It was like the sun was shining, and the flowers were blooming. Just by looking at him, it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside and like the zombies hadn't even-wait a minute. Crap. I'm falling in... lo....nope, I’m not going to say the word, 'cuz if I do, I will definitely do it. I took a deep breath, tentatively walking over to the two boys.
"H-hello, w-what are you doing h-here?"
 I stammered.
The brownie snickered, and I frowned. I felt my temper rise, and I was about to open my mouth to say a witty retort when whitey opened his mouth and said, with a smile, of course,
"We're here looking for others. Nice to meet you, miss... well, anyways, my name is Tally, and this dork over here is Soup."
He looked over at Soup and pushed him lightly, and they eventually ended up wrestling on the ground. Uno, which is what I named the ...cat? Let's just call it a cat for all intents and purposes. Anyways, Uno hissed, digging her claws into my scalp. I yelped, picking her up, all the while wondering what had got her hissing and spitting and clawing. A moan from behind let me know why.
"Crap!" I yelled.
With all my flirting and crap, I had let my guard down, and I had FAILED TO NOTICE the advancing horde of zombies coming our way.
"Get behind me!" I yelled to the two boys, grabbing my AK-47 at the same time.
They ran behind me, cowering and shivering.
"EH?! What are those?!" Tally whimpered.
"Zombies.” I said.
I cocked my gun, loaded it, and started to shoot. Blood spattered my clothes as I shot the dead beings, guts and yummy stuff like that. It must have been, like, five minutes before the zombies were all killed, but it felt like an hour had passed. I took in short, raspy breaths, my arms shaking with adrenaline. I whirled around, my face a dark fury, and anger boiling in my eyes as I got ready to reprimand the two boys.
"You two idiots realize that you could have gotten me killed, right? I could have died during that fight, and then you would be dead meat, both of you! You would both be food to those zombies, prolonging their life even further! You need to be more attentive! This is the zombie apocalypse, not your imagination where you can just prance around and be idiots all day!"
I finally stopped, panting. The anger faded, and was replaced by shame for being mean to Tally and Soup. They didn't know, its not like it was their fault, i thought.
"Look, this is the zombie apocalypse. I haven't been in contact with people for so long, i just need a little bit to adjust, okay? I didn't mean to snap at you and be mean, if that's what it came out like.So humor me for a little bit."I said.
That is when the building next to us exploded in a fiery ball of gas.

I ran over to the scene, where all the fire and gas was, and found my cat sitting in front of it.
"Uno! Bad cat!" I yelled.
Could she have done this? No! I thought. I picked her up, frowning. Why would the building have blown up? It was supposed to be a relatively good day, then life had to show up and screw buildings. How fun.
"Okay, so you want to know where we go next?"I asked Tally and Soup.
Mostly Tally, because i... well, you know the drill.
"Um... were not going into the city, are we?" Soup tentatively asked. A look of fear was still on his face, and he was obviously shaken from the zombie attack.
"Yes, we are. Do you have a problem with that?"I asked.
In that moment though, Uno jumped out of my arms and jumped on the hood of my car, which happened to be 20 feet away. God, that cat was fast.
"Holy fox-breath, how featherbrained can you humans get?"
I turned around, and looked at Uno.
"Was that... no, that isn't possible. Okay, which one of you was that?"I said tentatively, turning around to look at the two boys.
They looked at each other and looked at me, then Soup pointed at the cat.
"Seriously, we can't go into the city. You fox-brained idiot, don't be stupid."
I turned around slowly, looking at Uno.
"Yes, that was me." She said.
I closed my eyes, then opened then again.This wasn't happening. It just couldn't. CATS CANT TALK!
"No. Just no..." I moaned. I could take zombies. I could take like-liking someone. But the one thing i could not take was talking cats. So what did i do? I shut down.
"This isn't happening... it just is way too illogical..."I mumbled to myself, rocking back and forth. I was staring into nothing now, my brain shutting down. Just then, i felt the rough skin of a hand go across my face, and the stinging pain brought me back to reality. Who the F*** just slapped me?! I brought a hand to my cheek, my anger rising. Lucky for me, whoever did this was going to be dead by the time i was finished with them. I had failed my anger management classes before this started. i was holding back a lot of anger, and the dam was about to break.
"Who slapped me?" I asked menacingly, slowly starting to get up. My fists were clenched, and i took a deep breath and slapped both of the boys.
"No one slaps me. No one." I icily said, staring meanly at the two boys.